I am enjoying the relaxed life in the office for almost a year now. I haven’t been as much stress as I was still working for my previous company. Everything is so easy in my new job. I am working in a rather small team composed of around 5 – 10 members, unlike my previous job where my team is composed of at least 30 – 40 developers working on a single project. Although I feel good that unlike my previous job where projects never ends, the project in my new job is short and it ends. There are metrics to measure whether the project is successful or not. So basically, there are pros and cons in the 2 companies that I worked for. Quite cool actually, and you can add a lot of things in your resume in a short span of time.

Basically, my complain in the big team company is that people are so specialized. There are strict processes for everything, like you cannot just check in codes as every line of code you write needs to be scrutinized and checked with at least two of your local team members. Worse, if you code change hits some layers, you need to send the code for review with the team across the other side of the world. I really thought that this is a burden and I feel so constraint. There were iterations, there were feature complete stages, there were bug fixing stages, and the ever so boring customer support phase. But I was complaining about my job all through-out my stay in that big team company.

So what about now? Language has become a really big barrier for me because my Chinese is not good enough for meetings and their English is not good enough to understand what I’m trying to say. Second, we don’t have enough process. People just check in codes they feel are good. It’s a small team so rules are not strict and people don’t necessarily have to follow them. It’s not rules actually, we don’t have rules, they are just best practices, that we can follow if we choose to follow. There are not enough projects, and I don’t understand why management keep on hiring people. There are still a lot of tables empty, maybe they’re planning to fill them all up and then start firing. I don’t see a need for more people in our company, I need more work and I don’t have one.

I am starting to feel the extremes of being bored now. I have created a list of the sites I need to visit everyday so that I can maximize and use my time until 6pm, at least like doing something. (YES! IT’S THAT BAD!). I am starting to lose all the discipline I was able to learn in my previous job. I am starting to miss the real software development life cycle, where there’s a planning stage, there are iterations, there are features to be completed per iteration, there are bugs, there are customer complaints, and we get to fix that and content the customer. I miss being a real .NET Developer. I miss developing Enterprise level applications.

Yes, the cliché is true that it’s always greener on the other side of the field. When you’re busy, you’re longing not to be. When you’re busy you want to relax a bit, spend time with friends, watch some TV or even as simple as enjoy good dinner. When you’re not busy, there are problems too. I don’t get tired in all the activities during the day so I can’t sleep at night, I lose the discipline of working, I am becoming more and more lazy.

I realized that being a fresh college graduate I was thinking in the wrong way. I was so young, so naive, so full of passion, so energetic. I wanted to keep moving, I want everything to keep changing. I want learn everything and improve myself everyday. I didn’t find that in my previous job as it was as structured as it can be. (We also solve problems by introducing more process and ensuring that the same problem doesn’t happen again by putting safeguards and more safeguards.).

I learned a lot by leaving my previous job. I am happy that I chose that company to be the first company I’ll work for. I learned a lot from them that I will never ever let go. The processes, the code reviews, the development and coding practices. They became very important to me as a developer. In my current job, I learned a lot too, but I am craving for work. I need to fill that craving soon. I need to learn more, I need to fit in somehow, but I don’t know how. I hope I can be busy, I hope I can join more projects. How can I improve if I don’t.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t hate my job. I am just bored now, feels like I am jobless. I love my job as I get paid to learn new stuffs by myself but I am still not used to it. I love the in betweens of projects, but I guess I have to learn how to use it better.

I want to be busy! Give me some work!!!! Stop hiring people first! Give me work!!! P-L-E-A-S-E… I am so BORED! REALLY! SERIOUSLY! I need some work soon or I’ll die in BOREDOM!

A super good friend of mine sang this in her church. I’ve heard this song before, but I find it beautiful again now…

Seasons of Love

525,600 minutes, 525,000 moments so dear.
525,600 minutes - how do you measure,
measure a year?
In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee.
In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife.
In 525,600 minutes - how do you
measure a year in the life?
How about love? How about love? How about love?
Measure in love.
Seasons of love.

525,600 minutes! 525,000 journeys to plan.
525,600 minutes - how can you measure
the life of a woman or man?

In truths that she learned, or in times that he cried.
In bridges he burned, or
the way that she died.

It’s time now to sing out, though the story never ends
let's celebrate remember a year in the life of friends. Remember
the love! Remember the love! Remember
the love! Measure in love.

Seasons of love!

Seasons of love!

Part 1: The problem

In China unlike other countries, it is okay to smoke inside restaurants, elevators, malls, or <insert more places you don’t expect people to smoke here>. I would understand people smoking in restaurant, or other public places because I can choose the restaurant I will eat at. If I find myself in a smoking restaurant, I will not complain because it was my choice to eat there. But I think smoking in the office is highly unacceptable for me.

It is widely known that smoking causes a lot of health problems – lung cancer to name one. I am sitting near the door of our office and some guards are ALWAYS smoking outside. The bad thing is that there’s a gap between the door and some smoke goes inside. Unfortunately my seat is just by the door so I have no choice but to inhale all those toxic smokes. I am left without a choice because I still need to go to work. The problem is, my complains are not being addressed because The STUPID management said “WE DON’T HAVE A NON-SMOKING’ policy here. Tell me I am wrong but wherever you look at the situation, people should not just smoke. Smokers and non-smokers share the same air and you leave us, non-smokers without a choice.

Okay, that’s not the end of the story.

Part 2: The complaint - GUARDS ARE SMOKING

I think the best way to deal with a problem is to raise up the issue to people who can do something about it. In my case, it would be the Human Resource department. I sent an Instant Message to HR and asked them to do something. For a week, I have been nicely asking them for help through IM. Nothing is happening. I started sending email now, so I have record that I really sent a complain, when I started complaining and the corresponding replies to acknowledge that HR is working on it. At the end of the 2^nd week, the problem is still there. I raise it up to the leader of our team, and he with all his authority asked HR to do something about my complain. Some HR said we’ll do something but the BIG HR guy said…

1. Don’t talk to your boss about it, talk to HR because your boss cannot do anything.
2. Management of the guards in the reception is handled by Operations department talk to them.
3. We are not aware that we have a no smoking policy, so we can’t implement it.

Makes your blood boil.

Part 3: Boiling blood but need to control temper

In response to these 3 points…

1. I’ve talked to HR but HR didn’t do anything so I have to talk with my boss to help me.
2. Do you want me to become a software developer or HR? I complained to one person but you want me to know everything and do everything myself! I expect HR to complain to the right people and stop the smoking.
3. The company has smoking policy! I just need to find it in my email history.

So I told them that these are my responses and that SORRY is not enough, and that I require action and I sent an email showing them that there is an on-going company policy banning smoking in the reception area.

After sending that… goes the 4^th part.

Part 4: You’ve offended the top management

After finding and sending the policy, the company said, okay you have to talk to us because the top management have been offended by your strong emphasis or whatsoever. We saw the policy and you used “Be aware” about it. Top management felt threatened by your language and you have to explain.

I just feel that they ran out of things to tell me, anyway, I just said I am sorry if they were offended as what I want is to express a strong feeling that this needs to be fixed.

Instead of proceeding with action and dealing with their mistakes, this is their response.

1. Don’t complain to your boss, complain to HR. (even if 99% of the time nothing happens.)
2. Don’t be too strong next time, it’s not part of our culture. (It’s like telling them they’re always right even if you’re wrong. You cannot be too strong with top management, they are top management. Sigh…Sorry, but it’s just emphasis!)
3. Yes, you showed us a policy but we can choose which part of the policy to apply and we chose not to apply the non-smoking policy. (It’s hopeless!!!!)

Part 5: Hopelessness

After that feedback, I felt like it’s the end of everything already. I don’t have enough power. I don’t want to offend more people. I just want smoking to be gone, but I guess a simple change is impossible. This is China. It’s my first complain about China, but I am really pissed off. Nothing here makes sense to me. Everything is so stupid, and illogical but I’ll try to understand. I have to adapt with the environment, inhale all the smoke, drink melamine contaminated milk, eat melamine contaminated eggs and whatever else. I guess, the company is hopeless and will not improve to become a better company in the near future. It never accepts mistakes to grow, instead it pushes mistakes to other people to make themselves look good.

Still, this is China. There’s a lot of potential, I think it would be better in the future, but just not now.

I won’t complain if I am not affected.

People. We’re just the most difficult thing to understand, cope with, deal with, group of atoms in the world.

Christian ways. I think there’s a lot of things to improve in the way I think and handled my temper here. I would accept this one as a temper test where I failed, but I would do better next time. I would be a better Christian in dealing with things. I am sorry for people I have offended, I just got so pissed off. Next time, it would be better, I promise.